Here we are – Christmas has sailed by and, in a few days, we’ll be trying to remember to write 2010 instead of 2009 on our checks. As I was sitting pondering my options for New Year’s Eve and wondering if I will even be awake when the clock strikes midnight, I thought about my New Year resolutions… or lack thereof.

Of course, there are the typical ones we all know: lose weight, exercise more, get organized, save more money, etc. Makes sense right? I mean, who doesn’t want to be on top of it, get out of debt, or lose those extra 10 pounds.

Personally, however, I want to delve a little deeper in 2010 so I’ve created a Top Ten list of the resolutions I’ve made for the New Year. Perhaps one or two of them will resonate with you as well.

10. Get toxic people out of my life

Quite simply, there are people around whom we feel safe, loved and nourished and those around whom we feel put down, drained, and unhappy. For 2010, I plan on choosing the former. Duh, as my son would say.

9. Stop hitting my head against a brick wall

The key word here is ACCEPTANCE! I vow to accept what I can’t change (essentially everything except me), change what I can (yours truly), and try to be wise enough to know the difference. My dog, Rosie, is a great teacher. She knows a brick wall when she sees one!

8. Take the dog for more walks

Speaking of Rosie, she can always use a walk and, on second thought, so can I. It clears my head, puts a bounce in my step, and gets me away from my computer, which sometimes feels like it’s glued to my hip (or lap in this case).

7. Embrace constructive and ignore unnecessary criticism

Unfortunately, I too often do the opposite – reject helpful feedback and stew on petty criticisms and harsh judgments. This year, I’m going to try harder to listen to and incorporate the advice and observations of those around me. I receive loads of helpful information everyday, but only I can decide whether or not to use it for the better. Likewise, I plan on tuning out unconstructive or unfair criticism and judgments. If a comment is delivered with a barb, then it’s probably not said with our best interests in mind. My plan… blow it off.

6. Read more

I admit that my current obsession with knitting has caused a serious decline in my literary consumption. Until recently, I hadn’t figured out a way to knit and read at the same time. With the proliferation of audio books and the advent of the iPod, however, I have no more excuses for not engaging my hands and my brain at the same time. Now I can listen to Carrie Fisher recount her crazy childhood and her surreal experience as Princess Leah and finish a bad sweater all in one afternoon!

5. Eat better

For me, this one is so simple in theory and so hard in practice. However, I will make an effort to cut out the white stuff (e.g. white flour, sugar, rice, etc.), eat more fruits, vegetables, nuts, and whole grains, drink more water, and stop eating on the run. I know I will feel mentally more alert, emotionally grounded, and physically stronger.

4. Talk less, listen more

I’ve been talking too much all my life. From first grade to my former marriage, I’m queen of the run-on (and on) sentence. It’s not necessarily that I don’t have something interesting to say, but it’s more that it doesn’t leave a lot of room for someone else to talk. When I put a sock in it and let someone else take the floor, I generally learn a lot more about them than I would have otherwise. And I will try not, under any circumstances, to finish other people’s sentences. Everybody hates it and I usually get it wrong anyway.

3. Apologize… the right way

Kids (and some adults) are masters of the non-apology. You know, “Sorrrrrrry… not my fault.” Apologies that are followed by “but,” “I just,” “except,” or any other qualifier, are not true apologies. In order to be genuine and effective an apology should name (and own) the behavior, identify how it hurt the other person, and be followed up with a promised change. “I am sorry that I called you a knucklehead. I was cruel and hurt your feelings. I will do my best never do it again.” Now that’s an apology.

2. Forgive

I admit, I can be stubborn. However, when I let go of my need to be right and extend  the olive branch, I generally feel much better. I try to remind myself that we are all doing the best we can. So, this year I plan on taking the high road and, when called upon, to cut people (and myself) some slack.

1. Give generously

This sums it up in a nutshell. Be generous with everything you have: your time, your words, your affections, your money, your belongings, your appreciation, your heart and your spirit. Give, give, and give some more. Whenever I do, I receive so much more back than I ever imagined. Talk about an investment… you can’t beat the return!